I always end up back at this place

where I think of all of the mistakes I’ve made,

the bad things I’ve said, 

and the people I’ve pushed out of my life because of it. 

I wish for forgiveness.. I hope that those same people could forgive me one day, and things could go back to the way they were before. 

but why should they? 

how can they, when I can’t forgive myself?

what reason does anyone have to look past my mistakes, when mistakes are all I am?